Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
