so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
