Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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