Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
