He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize
