Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
