So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
