You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Randomize
