all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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