i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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