How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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