what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
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my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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