This girl is more easily done than said...
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
