I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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