is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
