Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
