I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
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