This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
