you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
