She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
