? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
This toilet bowl is my home.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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