Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
we're making bets on your personal life
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
