What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
