Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
