This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
