hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
