I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
