I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
