He disabled his match.com account in front of me
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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