we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Randomize
