It's Friday. Sex?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
