I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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