Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
