i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
