its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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