Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
