yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
im holly from the hills drunk
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
