sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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