erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
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