Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
