Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.