he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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