the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
