Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize