you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
My butt remains clenched, sir.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
