I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize