I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
a search helicopter?!
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize