I hate all girls vehemently.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
