we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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