she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
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