is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
