actually, I'm a sock model
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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