and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
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