He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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