one word: firstdatebathroomanal
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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