You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
