if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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