I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize