goodnight i made you a song goodbye
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
