i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
They have beer where we have blood.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
