I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
