i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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