Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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