i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
