Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
