the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
false alarm, still single
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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