he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
