Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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