It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
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for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
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Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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