yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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